The Remnant Awakens - “79.8-FM with Jesse Rollins – Where Faith Meets Flash... and Forgets the Truth”
(A Special Episode of The Remnant Awakens)
Chapter 1
🎧 [FAKE RADIO JINGLE INTRO – CHEESY & UPLIFTING]
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🎵 “You’re tuned in to 79.8-FM — The only station where blessings are just a broadcast away!” 🎵📢 “Broadcasting live from the Miracle Megachurch Studios — it’s time for JESSE ROLLINS and The Morning Bless Up!”
Chapter 2
🎙️ [Segment 1 – JESSE ROLLINS: THE HYPE BEGINS]
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🎤 i'm your host! Jesse Rollins and i will be your host for today, all the other hosts went on a blessed vacation using your donations!, isnt that a blessing!! :🎉 “WELL GLORY HALLELUJAH GOOD MORNING, KINGDOM WARRIORS! This is your spiritual hype-man, Jesse Rollins, and you’re locked in to The Bless-Up Show on 79.8-FM!”🙌 “Today’s theme is simple: Name it. Claim it. Donate it. Because blessings are in the bank — if you just BELIEVE! And give. But mostly give.”
Chapter 3
🎵 [Fake Song Plays in Background – "Grace Got Me Drippin’"]
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🎶 “I’m holy, I’m fly / I tithe, I thrive / Got Jesus on my lockscreen / Ain’t never gonna die!” 🎶
Chapter 4
🎙️ [Segment 2 – JESSE’S MINISTRY PROMO]
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“Now listen up, chosen ones… if you feel a tingling in your spirit right now, that’s not heartburn — that’s the Holy Ghost prompting you to sow a seed!”💳 “For just 37 dollars 77 cents, you’ll receive our ‘Breakthrough Blessing Box™’ featuring an autographed anointing cloth and a Spotify playlist of today’s top Jesus jams. Don’t delay — your destiny’s just a donation away!”
Chapter 5
📲 [Segment 3 – Jesse’s Prayer App Plug]
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“Have you downloaded the Pray-N-Play App™ yet?! With over 9.6 thousand celebrity prayers and bonus 'spirit emojis' — now you can pray in style and get reminders that say:‘Time to speak your miracle!’ every 2 hours.”“Because if your notifications aren’t holy… what are they even for?”
Chapter 6
📖 [Segment 4 – Misquoted Verse of the Hour]
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“Alright family, here’s our Misquoted Verse of the Hour™ — today it’s:‘Delight yourself in the Lord and He’ll give you the desires of your heart.’Psalm chapter 37 verse 4 😇 Interpretation?You want that Tesla? Speak it.You want that influencer glow-up? Manifest it.You want that vacation to the Bahamas in the name of jesus? Book it. It’s yours. Faith it till you make it!”
Chapter 7
📞 [Segment 5 – Fake Testimonial Call-In]
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amazing!!, i had a Caller on the line and she said : “Brother Jesse, I sowed 77 dollars into your ministry and guess what?” and i said : “Tell me, sister!” and she said: “The very next day I got a coupon for 70 dollars off at Olive Garden. God ain’t playing!”and i said: “WON’T. HE. DO. IT!”, I WAS SO SHOCKED!
Chapter 8
🎙️ [Sudden STATIC – Frequency Glitch — then… Pierre breaks through]
Pierre Alexandre Nissi Lidji
“Family… cut the show.”“This is Pierre Lidji, and I wasn’t supposed to be on this frequency… but someone had to speak the truth.”.“What you just heard was entertainment — not the Besorah. Jesse Rollins got you hyped… but he never called you to repent. He sold you blessings… but never told you to obey. He gave you notifications… but not the voice of Yahuah. ”. “While the world dances to fake worship, and the stations shout about 'Jesus' with dollar signs, the real Shepherd whispers: ‘Come out of her, My people.’, Turn off the noise. Return to Me.”, Because salvation is not an app. And the true message of Yahusha can’t be bought with a donation. It’s a call to lay your life down… and walk the narrow path.
Chapter 9
🎙️ [Pierre’s Final Outro – Signature Style]
Pierre Alexandre Nissi Lidji
“I’m Pierre Lidji, your brother from the tribe of Yahudah, and this… was The Remnant Awakens.”If this episode made you laugh, made you think, or made you uncomfortable — good. Like it so others hear the truth. Subscribe to stay tuned in. Drop a comment: what’s the wildest thing you’ve heard on Christian radio?, And if you know someone who’s still vibing to Babylon FM... Share this episode with them. Until next time… Shalom. See you all on the next episode.